IF WOMEN WROTE MEN THE WAY MEN WRITE WOMEN
“Brett pulled his tank top up over his head and stared at himself in the full-length mirror. He pushed down his jeans, then his boxers, and imagined the moment when Jennifer saw him nude for the first time. His feet were average-sized, and there was hair on his toes that he should probably take care of before tonight. He liked his legs just fine, but his thighs were wide and embarrassingly muscular. He tried standing at an angle, a twist at his waist. Some improvement. In that position, it was easier to see his ass and notice that it was not as pert as it had been at 22. He clenched both cheeks, hoping that tightened its look. He sucked in his tummy and pulled his pecs up high, trying to present them like pastries in a bakery window. Would she like him? Were the goods good enough? He pouted his lips and ran his hands over his thighs, masking their expanse. Maybe.”
“There is a particular look about a teenage boy that lets you know what kind of man he’ll be. A certain fullness of lips, a frank sensuality in his gaze. We all know what the word for that is, but it’s not polite to use it until he’s proven he’s that kind of boy.”
“But I don’t get it!” Shea was panting, trying to catch up to Michael as he fled. “The monster ate everyone else. How did you escape?”
Michael reached the boat first, flinging himself in. He waited for Shea to follow him and take the oars, guiding them smoothly away from the shore.
“It’s because I was different from the other boys,” he said, pushing his hair behind his ear and looking away.
“What do you mean, different?” Shea’s muscles rippled and flexed as she rowed them to safety, and Michael could not tear his eyes away.
“Different. Pure, the monster said. Because I’m… I’ve never…” He looked away again, and the moonlight caught on his throat, outlined his clavicle.
“You’re a virgin,” Shea said, realization dawning. “What a waste.”
Michael blushed.
“If we get out of this alive,“ she said. “I’m going to fix that.”
Do go and read the others, they’re brilliant.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/if-women-wrote-men-the-way-men-write-women
Snorting
Ha!
Susan, I know this will trigger the inevitable question, and to forestall that, no the writing is not going. I should do something about that. Probably. One day.
squid’s laws of fic (not inclusive)
first law: write the fic you wish to see in the world aka goddammit do I have to do everything myself around here
second law: it’s going to be longer than you think. much longer. hahaha so long. why are you crying
third law: the time spent writing is inversely proportional to the amount of smut present, dammit
fourth law: flesh out your secondary characters. make them real people. have them take over. oh god. put them back. somebody please help
fifth law: the time spent researching canon is directly proportional to the amount of time you’ll spend altering your plot. that one person on the internet
sixth law: the time spent researching in general will eclipse the time you spend writing. the nsa agent monitoring your internet search history is curled up in a corner. his boss wants to know if you’re a threat. “I don’t know,” the agent sobs. “I just really don’t know.”
seventh law: at some point, someone will ask what your favorite hobby is. you will feign a heart attack to get away
So, SO true.
Random
So I’ve just had a book title pop into my head that sounds really interesting, but here’s the thing: I have NO idea what the story is.
Oh and for anyone that might be curious, it’s Swallowing Diamonds.
I have no idea where that has come from.
Everyone lies about writing. They lie about how easy it is or how hard it was. They perpetuate a romantic idea that writing is some beautiful experience that takes place in an architectural room filled with leather novels and chai tea. They talk about their “morning ritual” and how they “Dress for writing” and the cabin in Big Sur where they go to “be alone” — blah blah blah. No one tells the truth about writing a book. Authors pretend their stories were always shiny and perfect and just waiting to be written. The truth is, writing is this: hard and boring and occasionally great but usually not. Even I have lied about writing. I have told people that writing this book has been like brushing away dirt from a fossil. What a load of shit. It has been like hacking away at a freezer with a screwdriver.
Amy Poehler,
Yes Please
(via
)
Speaking as someone who has actually hacked at a freezer with a screwdriver – and also done some writing – I can wholeheartedly confirm that this analogy is absolutely correct.
(via gatsbylives)
yes.
Yes.
YES, A THOUSAND TIMES, YES!
Source: wryan
Nudge.
So in the last week I’ve emails from two lovely readers telling me how much they enjoyed Take the Cake. Given I’m on a new project in an even more remote location than usual, it was just the shot in the arm that I needed. Both of them very politely asked when the next book was coming out.
It’s been four years since TTC was published, so I can see their point. I really must finish the last chapter of Net Recovery, and soon.
Thanks, Faith. Thanks, Jim. Your words were very much appreciated, and I hope that the next book will offer some sort of thanks for your lovely emails and patience so far.
Ultimate Writing Resource List
a massively extended version of ruthlesscalculus’ post
General Tips
- Joss Whedon’s Top 10 Writing Tips
- Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone
- 34 Writing Tips that will make you a Better Writer
- 50 Free resources that will improve your writing skills
- 5 ways to get out of the comfort zone and become a stronger writer
- 10 ways to avoid Writing Insecurity
- The Writer’s Guide to Overcoming Insecurity
- The Difference Between Good Writers and Bad Writers
- You’re Not Hemingway - Developing Your Own Style
- 7 Ways to use Brain Science to Hook Readers and Reel them In
- 8 Short Story Tips from Kurt Vonnegut
- How to Show, Not Tell
- 5 Essential Story Ingredients
- How to Write Fiction that grabs your readers from page one
- Why research is important in writing
- Make Your Reader Root for Your Main Character
- Writing Ergonomics (Staying Comfortable Whilst Writing)
- The Importance of Body Language
Character Development
- 10 days of Character Building
- Name Generators
- Name Playground
- Universal Mary Sue Litmus Test
- Seven Common Character Types
- Handling a Cast of Thousands Part 1 - Getting To Know Your Characters
- Web Resources for Developing Characters
- Building Fictional Characters
- Fiction Writer’s Character Chart
- Character Building Workshop
- Tips for Characterization
- Character Chart for Fiction Writers
- Villains are people too but…
- How to Write a Character Bible
- Character Development Exercises
- All Your Characters Talk the Same - And They’re Not A Hivemind!
- Medieval Names Archive
- Sympathy Without Saintliness
- Family Echo (Family Tree Maker)
- Behind The Name
- 100 Character Development Questions for Writers
- Aether’s Character Development Worksheet
- The 12 Common Archetypes
- Six Types of Courageous Characters
- Kazza’s List of Character Secrets - Part 1,Part 2
- Creating Believable Characters With Personality
- Body Language Cheat Sheet
- Creating Fictional Characters Series
- Three Ways to Avoid Lazy Character Description
- 7 Rules for Picking Names for Fictional Characters
- Character Development Questionnaire
- How to Create Fictional Characters
- Character Name Resources
- Character Development Template
- Character Development Through Hobbies
- Character Flaws List
- 10 Questions for Creating Believable Characters
- Ari’s Archetype Series
- How to Craft Compelling Characters
- List of 200 Character Traits
- Writing Characters of the Opposite Sex
- Making Your Characters Likable
- Do you really know your characters?
- Character Development: Virtues
- Character Development: Vices
- Character Morality Alignment
- List of Negative Personality Traits
- List of Positive Personality Traits
- List of Emotions - Positive
- List of Emotions - Negative
- Loon’s Character Development Series - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
- Phobia List A-L (Part 1), M-Z (Part 2)
- 30 Day In Depth Character Development Meme
- Words for Emotions based on Severity
- Eight Bad Characters
- High Level Description of the Sixteen Personality Types
Female Characters
- How Not to Write Female Characters
- Writing Female Characters
- How to write empowering female characters
- Why I write strong female characters
- Red Flags for Female Characters Written by Men
- Writing strong female characters
- The Female Character Flowchart
- Eight Heroine Archetypes
Male Characters
Tips for Specific Characters
- Writing A Vampire
- Writing Pansexual Characters
- Writing Characters on the Police Force
- Writing Drunk Characters
- Writing A Manipulative Character
- Writing A Friends With Benefits Relationship
- Writing A Natural Born Leader
- Writing A Flirtatious Character
- Writing A Nice Character
- Fiction Writing Exercises for Creating Villains
- Five Traits to Contribute to an Epic Villain
- Writing Villains that Rock
- Writing British Characters
- How To Write A Character With A Baby
- On Assassin Characters
Dialogue
- It’s Not What They Say…
- Top 8 Tips for Writing Dialogue
- Speaking of Dialogue
- The Great Said Debate
- He Said, She Said, Who Said What?
- How to Write Dialogue Unique to Your Characters
- Writing Dialogue: Go for Realistic, Not Real-Life
Point of View
Plot, Conflict, Structure and Outline
- Writing A Novel Using the Snowflake Method
- Effectively Outlining Your Novel
- Conflict and Character Within Story Structure
- Outlining Your Plot
- Ideas, Plots and Using the Premise Sheets
- How To Write A Novel
- Creating Conflict and Sustaining Suspense
- Plunge Right In…Into Your Story, That Is
- Tips for Creating a Compelling Plot
- 36 (plus one) Dramatic Situations
- The Evil Overlord Devises A Plot: Excerpt from Stupid Plot Tricks
- Conflict Test
- What is Conflict?
- Monomyth
- The Hero’s Journey: Summary of Steps
- Outline Your Novel in Thirty Minutes
- Plotting Without Fears
- Novel Outlining 101
- Writing The Perfect Scene
- One-Page Plotting
- The Great Swampy Middle
- How Can You Know What Belongs In Your Book?
- Create A Plot Outline in 8 Easy Steps
- How to Organize and Develop Ideas for Your Novel
- Create Structure in your novel using index cards
- Choosing the best outline method for you
- Hatch’s Plot Bank
Setting & Worldbuilding
- Magical Word Builder’s Guide
- I Love The End Of The World
- World Building 101
- The Art of Description: Eight Tips to Help Bring Your Settings to Life
- Creating the Perfect Setting - Part 1
- Creating a Believable World
- Setting
- Character and Setting Interactions
- Maps Workshop - Developing the Fictional World Through Mapping
- World Builders Project
- How To Create Fantasy Worlds
- Creating Fantasy and Science Fiction Worlds
Creativity Boosters* denotes prompts
- *Creative Writing Prompts
- *Ink Provoking
- *Story Starter
- *Story Spinner
- *Story Kitchen
- *Language is a Virus
- *The Dabbling Mum
- Quick Story Idea Generator
- Solve Your Problems By Simply Saying Them Out Loud
- Busting Your Writing Rut
- Creative Acceleration: 11 Tips To Engineer A Productive Flow
- Writing Inspiration, Or Sex on a Bicycle
- The Seven Major Beginner Mistakes
- Complete Your First Book with these 9 Simple Writing Habits
- Free Association, Active Imagination, Twilight Imaging
- Random Book Title Generator
- Finishing Your Novel
- Story Starters & Idea Generators
- Words to Use More Often
Revision & Grammar
- How To Rewrite
- Editing Recipe
- Cliche Finder
- Revising Your Novel: Read What You’ve Written
- Writing 101: Revising A Novel
- 20 Common Grammar Mistakes That (Almost) Everyone Makes
- Synonyms for the Most Commonly Used Words of the English Language
- Grammar Urban Legends
Tools & Software
- Tip Of My Tongue - Find the word you’re looking for
- Write or Die - Stay motivated
- Stay Focused - Tool for Chrome, lock yourself out of distracting websites
- My Writing Nook - Online Text Editor, Free
- Bubbl.us - Online Mind Map Application, Free
- Family Echo - Online Family Tree Maker, Free
- Freemind - Mind Map Application; Free; Windows, Mac, Linux, Portable
- Xmind - Mind Map Application; Free; Windows, Mac, Linux, Portable
- Liquid Story Binder - Novel Organization and Writing Application; free trial, $45.95; Windows, Portable
- Scrivener - Novel Organization and Writing Application; free trial, $39.95; Mac
- SuperNotecard - Novel Organization and Writing Application; free trial, $29; Windows, Mac, Linux, portable
- yWriter - Novel Organization and Writing Application; free; Windows, Linux, portable
- JDarkRoom - Minimalist Text Editing Application; free; Windows, Mac, Linux, portable
- AutoRealm - Map Creation Application; free; Windows, Linux with Wine
Specific Help
- Fashion Terminology
- All About Kissing
- Genre Help: Romance
- 187 Mental Illnesses
- Types of Mental Illness
- Eye Color List
- Spectral Groupings
Whelp, time to be a famous writer.
Source: ladyknightrps
you get ideas from daydreaming. you get ideas from being bored. you get ideas all the time. the only difference between writers and other people is that we notice when we’re doing it.
Neil Gaiman.
involvement.
Should I be crying this much while I’m writing? My characters are really getting to me, and all the while I’m just sitting here transcribing the little movie unrolling in my head, pulling out the words that describe what’s going on.
I started to map out at a story arc for this book to try and get past the writers’ block I’d been experiencing, but it’s not needed any more. Day two of working on the plan was when my characters came roaring back to life and too, over.
People often ask me what the writing process was like, if I’ve got some kind of nine to five routine in my downtime when it comes to working on the storyline. I don’t, because what I write is dictated to by this whole world of fictional characters in my head. As a random example, I got back to my room late last night on camp and while I was in the shower I suddenly discovered what Suzy’s blog/website is called. Flim Flam. I don’t know where that came from, but she likes it and that’s good enough for me. Sound odd? Yeah, welcome to my world.
I’m working on a tight word count with Net Recovery, and trying to put some sort of deadline on it. Let’s just say I’m hoping to have this one done by early next year. Bear with me, and after all the tears that these guys have made me shed at key points, I hope you’re going to like it too.
block.
This is ironic, given that my last book was about a guy with writers’ block, but I’ve totally hit the wall on Tailor Made.
I don’t know what to do with the story arc, and will see what my beta has to say. In the meantime I’ll get to work on the other storyline I had going, which was Net Recovery.
As much as I love the characters, I’ve just run out of steam. Trying to force the words takes all the fun out of the writing experience, so I’m going to take a break from one story and let the other one run off the leash for a while to see what happens.
*sigh*








